10-days post-op RNY

Already 10 days post-op? Yay!  I’m thrilled about that.  I am down about 13 pounds so far and starting to feel a little stronger.  Last night I finally got my bicycle out for a ride but really only got up the road and back.  I still have a lot of cramping/pain in my lower/left abdominal area where the Doc says a lot of bruising tends to happen inside.  (I try not to think about how my organs have been rearranged!!) 🙂

I am doing really well with food. I have no issues getting things down – am loving being able to have soup again (I love soups!).  I am getting in about 700 to 750 cals per day and trying to keep my protein about 90g per day to be on the safe side for me.

My favorite is the Unjury protein powder – I would highly recommend it.  And I am really enjoying the hot drinks and puddings from Bariatric Advantage (wonderlife line).  Lemon pudding for dessert – YUM!  I’m happy that there are so many products available so I can have flavors I enjoy without getting fat or sugar in.  Eventually I will start cooking myself, but right now, where this is all so new, I’m definitely going for convenience.  I love to cook, but I definitely don’t trust myself just yet.

Wishing everyone a blessed day.

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I’ve Only Just Begun.

Well, it’s finally here – my new life (aka: The Bariatric Afterlife.)  I am now day 4 post-op – wow.  Surgery took an hour longer than it should have because I apparently have some nasty and inflamed scar tissue from the darn Lap Band I had removed in June.  Apparently a part of my liver actually ATTACHED itself to my stomach as a way to try and “support” my dilated lap band.  Ouch.  Yuck.  I hope they are enjoying their “organ romance”!!  While it took my surgeon an extra hour to work with that, he was, thank God, able to complete a successful RNY.  I am grateful to have a “surgeon of excellence” because another may have backed out and made me wait till all that healed.  So, I am very grateful to be 4 days post-op and doing pretty well.

Yesterday I started feeling a little better and today I’m just really tired, but the pain is becoming a little better each day.  I hope I’m ready to return to work Monday as that is my plan.  I’m totally excited to see my surgeon on Monday morning for my 1 week follow-up…I want to make sure I’m doing everything right and of course – my first weigh in.  I sure do plan to enjoy this “honeymoon” for as long as I’m granted it!

I will say – I am missing food, but only in my head.  I want to eat, but only in my head.  I’m a very very visual person, so I look forward to when I can ‘create’ meals again.  Even if tiny.  For now I just use really cute tea cups and baby spoons when I eat to make it “cute” – haha.  I think I’m going to buy myself a kid meal set – ohhh..maybe “Hello Kitty” – I like that…to brighten “meal” time – haha!  Luckily I’ve always had sort of an affair with baby spoons – I have no idea why – a premonition perhaps?  But I actually have used baby spoons for as long as I can remember, at home – I just have a thing for them…LOL.

Today I moved to full liquid diet – thank goodness – chocolate protein powder – so yummy :).  I am dreaming of cream of rice (I am a gluten free girl) and yogurt next week!




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T minus 6 and counting

I almost can’t believe it but I am only 6 days away from RNY surgery. A week from today I’ll officially be post-op (praying all goes well.)  I am starting to get a bit anxious, but mostly just eager to get it over and done with so I can engage with my fresh start in life.

This week will be filled with 3 days of appointments between my nutritionist, pre-op therapy and of course the blood work and surgeon meeting.  I am trying super hard to stick to ONLY protein and veges this week – but it won’t be easy.  However, it is helping immensely to know that I am just days away from a new beginning.

I am glad I have a busy week this week and hope it flies by.  Hoping to get some time at the beach this weekend before this giant surgery so I can get some time to reflect and look forward.

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy week!


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I do not remember how to lose weight!

On my way to my upper 40’s, it seems to be a reality that I do not remember how to lose weight. For more than a year I’ve really been trying.  I’ve done the HCG diet, NutriSystem, worked out in the gym, walked, bicycled, practiced yoga, logged every bite on My Fitness Pal and yes, practiced “mindful eating”. I would loose maybe 5 or even 8 pounds, but, as soon as I strayed just a bit, 2 or 3 would come back on at once.  What?  How discouraging!  Thus I have become a very disgruntled “dieter”!

I am now eager, anxious, and really so ‘freaking’ ready to have this RNY weight loss surgery in just about 2 1/2 weeks.  Last night I was listing out potential “things” (aka: food) I would really miss, and honestly, having been through this before (via Lap Band surgery in 2006), I couldn’t really think of anything.  The only thing that has ever truly bothered me to give up is coffee – that is NOT an option – life is too short!  So, thank goodness for decaf because they say I can have that – phew!

Indeed it really frustrates me that my body seems dead set against losing weight. I talked to my surgeon about this and his reply was:  “Well, you realize you suffer from Obesity, right? Well…that’s why.”  Oh?  Is that it?  I thought obesity was a self-imposed punishment I created because I:  lack willpower, have no discipline, use food to comfort myself, and so on.  His response was: “You lost 95 pounds with your lap band before it “broke”, correct?”  “Yes, well, yes…it took me 4 years, but sure, I did.”  “Well, then you will lose even more than that with the RNY.”  Ok!  Bring it on.

So here’s what I’m feeling right now.  I can beat the ever loving spirit out of myself by feeling like a failure.  Or, I can commend myself for having once lost 150 pounds (55 on my own; 95 with the aid of a lap band) and say to myself:  “Self….you did it once…you can do it again.  You might even be better at it this time.  Self…this is not a check list of do it and it’s done – it’s your lifetime.  Self…we have to do this every day; 24/7; no holidays for those who suffer from obesity…just a life to live the best we can.

T minus 19 days and counting!


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Countdown to Weight Loss Surgery

I am thrilled that one month from today I will be being discharged from the hospital and officially be in my “bariatric afterlife.” It still feels odd to be “excited” for surgery, but what I have to remember is that I’m excited about changing my life; getting a fresh start; moving forward into health – not the actual surgery process!

I have been reading everything I can not only about the surgery and the weeks after, but more importantly, the lifetime after. I know that it is possible to loose all the weight you need to, then gain it back anyway.  I have accepted, and welcome the fact, that for the rest of my life I will attend support groups, meet with a nutritionist, and do whatever else it is I need to do to become and STAY healthy.

Unlike the many people who have “tossed the scale”, I will actually be purchasing one and yes, becoming friends with it.  For me, I don’t believe in the theory of “tossing the scale”, eating what I want only in moderation and only “when I’m hungry”, etc.  I guess for me, that never worked.  I admire people who that works for, however, when you are a Food Addict, you have to be diligent and stand watch – and indeed, this is me.

I accept that I’m going to have to think about food every day, face the battle every single time I want to put something on my taste buds that I shouldn’t.

Today I ate a glazed doughnut.  Delicious and disgusting.  Euphoric and guilt ridden.  Truly not worth it.  I did it because I did not think about it.  I consciously chose to UNCONSCIOUSLY buy it and eat it.  Those days are numbered.  They are numbered at 29 to be exact.

Counting down.  Anxiously waiting for the day.  Ready, ready, ready.



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A new awareness…

Life truly is a process of learning and I suppose it is possible that only by our struggles do we learn what really matters. Today I set out to do some research on Obesity. I didn’t even realize there was a Coalition “out there”. I spent a lot of time reading on the OAC’s website and a bunch of other places because I want to know – how is the very thing that is supposed to sustain and nourish us – killing so many of us??

Honestly, the idea of this infuriates me – and I need to know more.

In my research today I found out the following statistics:
Approximately 93 million Americans are Obese. Huh? That is almost 30% of the American Population!

Yet, there are 75,000 retail bakers in the U.S. (that doesn’t include the small shops like Dunkin Donuts, Krispy Kreme, all the fancy cup-cakery boutiques, etc. etc.) And let’s not forget that the average soda-drinking American consumes (are you ready?) 44 gallons of soda per year! Huh? Gross. (Ok, I suffer from obesity but at least I can say I avoid soda.) Yay, “1” for me.. 🙂

I suppose it frustrates me as someone who suffers from Alcoholism is frustrated because every song on the radio is about ‘having a drink’ and every block has a Bar.

So how do you win? How do you beat a country who is trying to kill you everyday with their poisons? I guess you have to be stronger and smarter. All thoughts, wisdom and experiences are welcome!!

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Change is on the way

Indeed, I am on the road to a big change as I have just gotten my Gastric Bypass surgery date!  I will have this ever-so-strange event come to be on August 11th.  I am eager, anxious, and oddly enough – excited.

I have to give myself a double-take when I say “I’m excited for surgery.”  How odd is that?  I think about what I’m about to do to myself in the name of health and body size and, again, a little strange. It’s a little strange because I grew up hearing about the Depression and how my parents sometimes had to just have lettuce for lunch and beans for dinner. Yet I am a grown up in a time where an extremely high percentage of Americans are Obese.  We throw away so much food everyday. Food seems unlimited to most of us. More than a little strange.  For some people this is a good thing. For those of us who became addicts when we didn’t know there was such a thing – not so good.

But, the world is what it is and we have to play the hand we are dealt – the best we can.  So that’s what I am doing.  The best I can with all that I know, with all that I have, and all that is meant to be mine.

Courage is what counts…right?  Courage. Intention. Action…then a little more courage.


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