I guess we all (and by “all” I mean RNY post-ops) do it — we make an error that causes us to “dump”! OUCH!
I was just a month post-op last Thursday when we went away this past weekend. I was a bit anxious about dining out – it’s not something I really want to do very much right now. I tried to be really careful of course, but as we know, we don’t really know exactly what a chef is putting into each dish. So Friday night, my very first meal “out” – there it was – about one hour after eating at this amazing waterfront restaurant on the crystal coast of Carolina – pain in the center of my “gut”! Then the weakness came on. Then, I felt like I had the flu. I knew right away – too much fat in my dinner tonight!!
Thankfully we ate late and when the “dumping” began, I was already in bed for the night. I was able to just roll over and get through it. But, I felt pretty guilty that I wasn’t more attentive. Excellent, a chance to beat up on myself I thought. Old habits die hard.
Emotionally, it being my first time in a nice restaurant since surgery, it was a bit difficult. My eyes wanted to gobble up everything on my boyfriend’s plate (yes, he had a rack of maple & bourbon glazed ribs — seriously!!), but in the end, I did not let my emotions run away. I looked out at the water and the beautiful sunset and just said out loud: “I am so grateful to be here”. I was, indeed, grateful I could be there. And I had this fabulous tool within me now so I was NOT able to overeat. I was not able to eat all weekend and go home 5 or 8 pounds heavier. I thought to myself: “Brilliant – I can be here in this beautiful place, have a few bites of some yummy things, and NOT have tight pants at the end of it all.” Yes – brilliant!
It’s a strange life I’m living now with this “altered stomach” – some days it’s a bit overwhelming for a moment, but I just keep thinking: “I’m not giving up”. I will do what it takes to be healthy and fit. If it doesn’t work one day, I will try again the next. If I fall down – I will get back up again even stronger. That’s how I have always been in life. That’s who I am. That’s how God made me and I am not going to let Him or myself down.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Here’s to health, happiness and good hair days 🙂