4 weeks post-op – can this be love?

4 weeks ago today I was still in surgery (as I type this) with my RNY (aka: Gastric Bypass). My stomach as it was, would be forever altered. I feel so lucky because at only a few weeks out, I had already grown to love my new pouch. Over this past weekend as I walked through the grocery store, smelled the bakery and viewed the candy isle on my way to get bottled water – I realized I am in love with this new way of life. Why? Because I haven’t craved chocolate in 4 weeks. Because (at least for today) I can smell cookies without getting high and having to have “my fix”. This stomach alteration has given me the time and opportunity to truly (hopefully) get a grip on my food addiction. It may not last forever, but in the meantime, I am getting stronger and hopefully evolving to a better place other than the shackles of chocolate and baked goods!

Prior to this weight loss surgery, I took 2 Aleve everyday and sometimes Tylenol in between. Already, I have days where I take no Tylenol until just before bed when I take 1/2 of a Tylenol PM. Amazing. I didn’t have any other medical problems/medications (lucky me), so I have no other reports there. So for me, it truly is about my size.

I am down 22 pounds currently and while I had hoped I would take 30 off in the first 30 days, my support team has told me that 22 at this point is wonderful. So, I will be happy and just keep on with my “new rules” in life: (1) Be compliant – every single day. (2) Express gratitude – every single day. (3) Prayer. (4) Be complaint – in case I didn’t mention that.

I’ve never been an excellent rule follower in life, but this feels good. I know if I just “do the right thing” – every single day – I will not only get to my goal weight, but I will have built a fortress of strength and courage to never to return to the bondage of food. I am not saying it will be easy, but I am saying – I feel strong enough to do this – and I don’t just “think I can” .. “I know I can!”

Here’s to healthy, happiness and good hair days :)

-Kat Untitled

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3 weeks Post-Op

Most days for the past couple of weeks I feel like I’ve been “altered” by my RNY forever already – or at least a lot longer than a mere three weeks.  But I know that isn’t true because I’m still overweight.  Honestly, I thought I would have been a little lighter by now. I’m 20 pounds down and while I won’t complain, I admit, it baffles me how I can be eating between 500 and 900 cals/day with 80 or 90 g’s of Protein and ONLY have lost 20 lbs?

I won’t complain – again, I’m focusing on the positives: Maybe I won’t lose muscle mass; maybe I won’t have as many wrinkles, and so on.  Hmm, mostly I’m focusing on: “Why is that darn dress still too tight?”  :)

All in all, I am doing really well.  I’ve gotten a few “food items” “stuck” and gosh – I have got to learn NOT to do that.  Sometimes when I’m really hungry I forget – “go slow”!!  I tried some real food over the weekend (chicken, vege burger, and hmmm, something else) and yeah…ummm, no – not quite ready.  I have returned to puree/soups/etc. for at least this week.  I thought I was ready, but I guess not.  Ok, eating “real food” is really hard…I chewed each tiny bite like 50 times…and I was still stuffed after about 2 oz of food.  This is difficult on the head, that’s for sure!

Onward and forward….I truly had a goal of 30 lbs in 30 days….but, as I well know, my body can be very uncooperative.  I am so happy for those who lose 100 lbs in 6 months (kudos!!) but I am highly doubtful I will be so lucky.  More likely, this journey will be like the rest of my life – I have to work super hard for anything good.  But you know what – that just has to be OK.

My head is learning to love my RNY.  I do not have buyer’s remorse…I am only looking forward to a month, 6 months and a year from now.

Here’s to health, happiness, and good hair days :)

 

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2 weeks post-op

I have officially flipped the page to 2 weeks post-op. I find myself very eager to be saying 2 months post-op and hoping I’ve lost some phenomenal volume of weight. I keep reading about people who drop 100 pounds in the first six months…and I think – nope, that won’t be me. I just don’t lose weight that fast in this body! But, we’ll see.

My scale and my doctor’s scale are in complete disagreement about how much I weigh. Granted, I weigh there in the afternoons with clothing on. At home I weigh first thing, so I guess a 5 pound difference might not be that unexpected. So I’ve decided to go by my scale and my scale only – after all, that’s the one I use on a semi-weekly basis.

After weighing this morning I appear to be down approximately 18.5 pounds from my pre-op highest. I’ll take that. The minimum I want to be down after 1 month is 30 pounds – so, I’m past half-way there and “I think I can!”

Sunday and yesterday I had a bad day so I barely got any food in. I *thought* I was ready for some very small pieces of scrambled egg. So I made my boyfriend and our dog (haha) some scrambled and took a spoonful for myself. Silly me – at them too fast…and yup – got stuck! OUCH OUCH OUCH. Oh the pain! It took me 2 days of going back to liquid to clear it out – finally, last night I felt better. Ok, lesson learned!! Silly girl. I just wasn’t being attentive to my chewing – no idea why – it just perhaps isn’t a “habit” yet? I definitely learned my lesson!

Hope all of you reading this are doing well on your journey. The past two weeks feel like it’s been at least a month….perhaps the RNY changes time? haha. By the way, one thing I am noticing – I am just not into chocolate or strawberry flavors right now! I never thought I’d see the day where I don’t want something chocolate…it was my #1 addiction my entire life…but right now, all I want is vanilla. I pray this sticks – I would be declared a miracle if I never crave chocolate again. I hope it stays away!! I will gladly take that.

Wishing you a happy day…!
-Kat

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10-days post-op RNY

Already 10 days post-op? Yay!  I’m thrilled about that.  I am down about 13 pounds so far and starting to feel a little stronger.  Last night I finally got my bicycle out for a ride but really only got up the road and back.  I still have a lot of cramping/pain in my lower/left abdominal area where the Doc says a lot of bruising tends to happen inside.  (I try not to think about how my organs have been rearranged!!) :)

I am doing really well with food. I have no issues getting things down – am loving being able to have soup again (I love soups!).  I am getting in about 700 to 750 cals per day and trying to keep my protein about 90g per day to be on the safe side for me.

My favorite is the Unjury protein powder – I would highly recommend it.  And I am really enjoying the hot drinks and puddings from Bariatric Advantage (wonderlife line).  Lemon pudding for dessert – YUM!  I’m happy that there are so many products available so I can have flavors I enjoy without getting fat or sugar in.  Eventually I will start cooking myself, but right now, where this is all so new, I’m definitely going for convenience.  I love to cook, but I definitely don’t trust myself just yet.

Wishing everyone a blessed day.

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I’ve Only Just Begun.

Well, it’s finally here – my new life (aka: The Bariatric Afterlife.)  I am now day 4 post-op – wow.  Surgery took an hour longer than it should have because I apparently have some nasty and inflamed scar tissue from the darn Lap Band I had removed in June.  Apparently a part of my liver actually ATTACHED itself to my stomach as a way to try and “support” my dilated lap band.  Ouch.  Yuck.  I hope they are enjoying their “organ romance”!!  While it took my surgeon an extra hour to work with that, he was, thank God, able to complete a successful RNY.  I am grateful to have a “surgeon of excellence” because another may have backed out and made me wait till all that healed.  So, I am very grateful to be 4 days post-op and doing pretty well.

Yesterday I started feeling a little better and today I’m just really tired, but the pain is becoming a little better each day.  I hope I’m ready to return to work Monday as that is my plan.  I’m totally excited to see my surgeon on Monday morning for my 1 week follow-up…I want to make sure I’m doing everything right and of course – my first weigh in.  I sure do plan to enjoy this “honeymoon” for as long as I’m granted it!

I will say – I am missing food, but only in my head.  I want to eat, but only in my head.  I’m a very very visual person, so I look forward to when I can ‘create’ meals again.  Even if tiny.  For now I just use really cute tea cups and baby spoons when I eat to make it “cute” – haha.  I think I’m going to buy myself a kid meal set – ohhh..maybe “Hello Kitty” – I like that…to brighten “meal” time – haha!  Luckily I’ve always had sort of an affair with baby spoons – I have no idea why – a premonition perhaps?  But I actually have used baby spoons for as long as I can remember, at home – I just have a thing for them…LOL.

Today I moved to full liquid diet – thank goodness – chocolate protein powder – so yummy :).  I am dreaming of cream of rice (I am a gluten free girl) and yogurt next week!

 

 

 

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T minus 6 and counting

I almost can’t believe it but I am only 6 days away from RNY surgery. A week from today I’ll officially be post-op (praying all goes well.)  I am starting to get a bit anxious, but mostly just eager to get it over and done with so I can engage with my fresh start in life.

This week will be filled with 3 days of appointments between my nutritionist, pre-op therapy and of course the blood work and surgeon meeting.  I am trying super hard to stick to ONLY protein and veges this week – but it won’t be easy.  However, it is helping immensely to know that I am just days away from a new beginning.

I am glad I have a busy week this week and hope it flies by.  Hoping to get some time at the beach this weekend before this giant surgery so I can get some time to reflect and look forward.

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy week!

 

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I do not remember how to lose weight!

On my way to my upper 40’s, it seems to be a reality that I do not remember how to lose weight. For more than a year I’ve really been trying.  I’ve done the HCG diet, NutriSystem, worked out in the gym, walked, bicycled, practiced yoga, logged every bite on My Fitness Pal and yes, practiced “mindful eating”. I would loose maybe 5 or even 8 pounds, but, as soon as I strayed just a bit, 2 or 3 would come back on at once.  What?  How discouraging!  Thus I have become a very disgruntled “dieter”!

I am now eager, anxious, and really so ‘freaking’ ready to have this RNY weight loss surgery in just about 2 1/2 weeks.  Last night I was listing out potential “things” (aka: food) I would really miss, and honestly, having been through this before (via Lap Band surgery in 2006), I couldn’t really think of anything.  The only thing that has ever truly bothered me to give up is coffee – that is NOT an option – life is too short!  So, thank goodness for decaf because they say I can have that – phew!

Indeed it really frustrates me that my body seems dead set against losing weight. I talked to my surgeon about this and his reply was:  “Well, you realize you suffer from Obesity, right? Well…that’s why.”  Oh?  Is that it?  I thought obesity was a self-imposed punishment I created because I:  lack willpower, have no discipline, use food to comfort myself, and so on.  His response was: “You lost 95 pounds with your lap band before it “broke”, correct?”  “Yes, well, yes…it took me 4 years, but sure, I did.”  “Well, then you will lose even more than that with the RNY.”  Ok!  Bring it on.

So here’s what I’m feeling right now.  I can beat the ever loving spirit out of myself by feeling like a failure.  Or, I can commend myself for having once lost 150 pounds (55 on my own; 95 with the aid of a lap band) and say to myself:  “Self….you did it once…you can do it again.  You might even be better at it this time.  Self…this is not a check list of do it and it’s done – it’s your lifetime.  Self…we have to do this every day; 24/7; no holidays for those who suffer from obesity…just a life to live the best we can.

T minus 19 days and counting!

 

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